Valentine’s Day is a few hours away and I’m pretty sure that most of you guys/ladies are still clueless about what to get your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend. Instead of giving you suggestions on the ideal gifts to give, I will provide you with the list of five things that you should erase entirely from your book of ideas. Like most, I am not a big fan of Valentine’s Day because I believe that you should not rely on one day out of the year to show your partner how much you love and appreciate him/her. It is also my belief that Valentine’s Day is not being promoted on storefronts, radio and television stations throughout the United States in the name of “love,” but as the perfect opportunity to milk people out of their hard-earn money.
The purpose of this article is not to speak out against you for choosing to celebrate Valentine’s Day, but an effort on my part to give you the 411 on gifts that you should never give him or her on February 14, 2008.
Him:
- Tool Belt – Its common belief that a man should be “handy with tools,” but let’s face it, a lot of guys wouldn’t know how to fix a broken chair. Valentine’s Day is no time to drop hints that he should be handy around the house, so save yourself the headache of having to call a carpenter to fix a hole he accidentally put in the wall.
- Shaving Kit – Why do you think that the barber shop is always packed on weekends? Is it because we want to watch latest episode of Days of Our Lives with friends or to get a hair cut?
- Hair Gel – I gave up on getting waves 5 years ago and I’m sure that most guys would also agree to the line “waves are not for everyone.” My hair is nappy and so is your man’s; we grease it on a daily basis to keep it looking fresh, so the last thing we want is to hear your mouth when our hair-gel stains the pillows.
- Sweater – I couldn’t tell you the amount of times my friends and I talk about how frustrated it is to get a sweater as a gift. Ladies, we are sick of it; so please do not go to the sales section at the back of Old Navy ($8.99) or H&M ($10) and purchase another sweater.
- 2 Dozen Garbage Bags – Wouldn’t it be easier to ASK us to take out the garbage?
Her:
- $25 WalMart gift card – I’m hoping that this isn’t on your list of possible gifts, but if it is, I would suggest that you take a trip to WalGreens and purchase a decent size bottle of lotion or baby oil, because I’m pretty sure that you will experience a lot of DRY days ahead.
- Plastic roses from the 99cent store – If that is all you can afford by all means go ahead and purchase a few plastic roses from the 99cent store. However, if you have a reputation of spending a nice change on your empress during birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas – I would suggest that you re-read the suggestion I made in number one.
- Pubic hair remover – A lot of females (with the exception of a few) always have a healthy supply of pubic hair removers, so there is no need for you to buy any UNLESS her jungle bushes are known to prevent you from effectively dig for the “pink perl.”
- A Rose from the neighbor’s garden – Not only is that considered stealing, but it can also get you shot if caught. But if you are one who enjoys living on the edge, please take the time to remove any dirt or insects from the rose before you give it to her.
- A GYM Membership – Females are typically very sensitive about their weight, and the last thing you want to do is unintentionally communicate to your empress that she is gaining weight and needs to loose it.
About The Author: Mark Dixon is a Freelance writer, poet, web design consultant and Blogger from Jamaica, West Indies. His articles have been featured in print magazines and on various websites. To find out more about Mark, please visit his website at www.ODixon.com / www.myspace.com/mr718. Email: markd9@gmail.com.
Tags: Bronx, Brooklyn, Dating, long island, Love, Love and Relationships, Queens, valentines day
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